Handling feedback anxiety and stress: 3 ways to channel emotions to learn and grow
In the high-stakes world of business, feedback is an essential tool for growth and improvement. However, for many business leaders, the mere mention of the word "feedback" evokes anxiety and stress. This negative association often stems from a fear of criticism, failure and/or the unknown. As an executive coach committed to turning leadership potential to performance, one of the critical steps is to help leaders shift from a negative emotional state to a positive one - a mindset that embraces feedback as a catalyst for learning and growth.
While all of us deal well with positive feedback, it’s the constructive feedback that make stomachs clench, hearts pound, and minds scatter. The surge of emotions that puts many in fight, flight or freeze modes.
Understanding the triggers
To develop positive orientation, it's crucial to identify and understand the key triggers that contribute to the negative emotions associated with feedback. Stone and Hein have identified three main triggers that restrict our ability to process feedback.
Truth triggers: The content, which forms the basis of the feedback is wrong, off base, unfair or unhelpful. The powerful emotions triggered include wronged, anger, and exasperated.
Relationship triggers: The feedback is colored by the relationship between the giver and receiver. The focus shifts from the feedback to the qualification and character of the person delivering the feedback.
Identity triggers:The feedback threatens one’s sense of self. Irrespective of whether the feedback is right or wrong, it results in breaking the very essence of who one’s self-perception
Assuming there is truth in the feedback and there is a reasonably good relationship between the giver and the receiver, the most common thoughts that manifests and affects one’s ability to process and act on the feedback are:
Fear of being seen as inadequate: Business leaders, accustomed to success, may fear that feedback exposes weaknesses or mistakes, which could restrict career opportunities. The pressure to maintain a flawless image can create anxiety and hinder ability to receive constructive input.
Self-Doubt: Negative self-talk, fueled by perfectionism or imposter syndrome, can amplify anxiety and make it challenging to approach feedback with an open mind. The being-judged feeling further amplifies self-doubt.
Fixed Mindset: Believing that abilities are innate and unchangeable, can hinder a leader's willingness to embrace feedback. The fear that criticism reflects inherent shortcomings rather than opportunities for improvement can be paralyzing.
Shifting to positive orientation:
Business leaders can learn and master the shift from a negative emotional state to a positive one by developing a constructive relationship with feedback. Operating from a place of curiously and confidence than one centered on self-judgment and self-doubt open the aperture and propel leaders into the learn-and-grow mode.
See feedback as impact amplifier: Embrace challenges and view feedback not as critique but as a valuable source of insights. Detach personal worth from the feedback focusing on improvement rather than perfection. Seek specifics to understand the context and see feedback as data guiding informed decisions.
Develop active listening skills: Often, negative emotions arise from a misinterpretation of feedback. Active listening skills enables leaders to fully understand and process feedback thereby limiting defensive reactions. Paraphrase, ask clarifying questions, demonstrate empathy, and detach the what from the who.
Foster a Growth Mindset: Sees challenges and failures as opportunities to learn and improve rather than as threats to one's competence. Believe that curiosity and love for learning are critical to realizing one’s full potential with feedback as a key input.
Transforming the negative emotional state associated with feedback into a positive one is a journey that requires self-reflection, commitment, and the development of specific skills.
Leaning into constructive feedback is the linchpin to unlocking one's full leadership potential. By embracing feedback as a valuable tool for growth, leaders can cultivate a resilient mindset, adapt to challenges, and continuously refine their skills. Constructive feedback also serves as a compass, guiding leaders toward self-awareness and growth opportunities. Ultimately, leaders who prioritize and leverage constructive feedback not only enhance their own capabilities but also inspire a culture of continuous learning, innovation, and excellence within their teams and organizations.
