Handling feedback anxiety and stress: 3 ways to channel emotions to learn and grow

In the high-stakes world of business, feedback is an essential tool for growth and improvement. However, for many business leaders, the mere mention of the word "feedback" evokes anxiety and stress. This negative association often stems from a fear of criticism, failure and/or the unknown. As an executive coach committed to turning leadership potential to performance, one of the critical steps is to help leaders shift from a negative emotional state to a positive one - a mindset that embraces feedback as a catalyst for learning and growth.

While all of us deal well with positive feedback, it’s the constructive feedback that make stomachs clench, hearts pound, and minds scatter. The surge of emotions that puts many in fight, flight or freeze modes.

Understanding the triggers

To develop positive orientation, it's crucial to identify and understand the key triggers that contribute to the negative emotions associated with feedback. Stone and Hein have identified three main triggers that restrict our ability to process feedback.

1. Truth triggers: The content, which forms the basis of the feedback is wrong, off base, unfair or unhelpful. The powerful emotions triggered include wronged, anger, and exasperated.

2. Relationship triggers: The feedback is colored by the relationship between the giver and receiver. The focus shifts from the feedback to the qualification and character of the person delivering the feedback.

3. Identity triggers:The feedback threatens one’s sense of self. Irrespective of whether the feedback is right or wrong, it results in breaking the very essence of who one’s self-perception

Assuming there is truth in the feedback and there is a reasonably good relationship between the giver and the receiver, the most common thoughts that manifests and affects one’s ability to process and act on the feedback are:

1. Fear of being seen as inadequate: Business leaders, accustomed to success, may fear that feedback exposes weaknesses or mistakes, which could restrict career opportunities. The pressure to maintain a flawless image can create anxiety and hinder ability to receive constructive input.

2. Self-Doubt: Negative self-talk, fueled by perfectionism or imposter syndrome, can amplify anxiety and make it challenging to approach feedback with an open mind. The being-judged feeling further amplifies self-doubt.

3. Fixed Mindset: Believing that abilities are innate and unchangeable, can hinder a leader's willingness to embrace feedback. The fear that criticism reflects inherent shortcomings rather than opportunities for improvement can be paralyzing.

Shifting to positive orientation:

Business leaders can learn and master the shift from a negative emotional state to a positive one by developing a constructive relationship with feedback. Operating from a place of curiously and confidence than one centered on self-judgment and self-doubt open the aperture and propel leaders into the learn-and-grow mode.

1. See feedback as impact amplifier: Embrace challenges and view feedback not as critique but as a valuable source of insights. Detach personal worth from the feedback focusing on improvement rather than perfection. Seek specifics to understand the context and see feedback as data guiding informed decisions.

2. Develop active listening skills: Often, negative emotions arise from a misinterpretation of feedback. Active listening skills enables leaders to fully understand and process feedback thereby limiting defensive reactions. Paraphrase, ask clarifying questions, demonstrate empathy, and detach the what from the who.

3. Foster a Growth Mindset: Sees challenges and failures as opportunities to learn and improve rather than as threats to one's competence. Believe that curiosity and love for learning are critical to realizing one’s full potential with feedback as a key input.

Transforming the negative emotional state associated with feedback into a positive one is a journey that requires self-reflection, commitment, and the development of specific skills.

Leaning into constructive feedback is the linchpin to unlocking one's full leadership potential. By embracing feedback as a valuable tool for growth, leaders can cultivate a resilient mindset, adapt to challenges, and continuously refine their skills. Constructive feedback also serves as a compass, guiding leaders toward self-awareness and growth opportunities. Ultimately, leaders who prioritize and leverage constructive feedback not only enhance their own capabilities but also inspire a culture of continuous learning, innovation, and excellence within their teams and organizations.

What business leaders can learn from sports to set their organizations for success?

The parallels between sports and organizational successes are striking. The learning orientation including experimentation, teamwork and execution agility that drive victories on the sports field can be harnessed to achieve remarkable results on the business front.

Success of sports teams depend on key building blocks.

1. Assembling individuals with complementary skills

2. Transforming them from talented individuals to a team

3. Developing strategies and playbooks that play to their strengths and expose the weaknesses of opponents

4. Communicating effectively in real-time and sharing instant feedback on what's working and what isn't

5. Refining strategies in real-time and adapting quickly - Strategic Agility (Stragility)

Mindset: Sports teams also have a clear distinction and spend time between learning and performance zones. Learning zone is a state in which a person is engaged in activities that are slightly beyond their current capabilities or knowledge level. Key mindsets that help one learn and grow are embracing discomfort, purposeful practice and seeking feedback. Performance zone is a state in which a person is applying existing knowledge and skills acquired in the learning zone to achieve a goal. In this zone, it's all about execution, showcasing competence and producing tangible results.

Applying these sports insights in a corporate setting across three key areas talent development, business strategy and organizational mindset/culture unleashes peak performance.

Answering key questions will help uncover potential pitfalls.

1. Do we have the right skills on the team to achieve set goals? Create a skills matrix and assess where the gaps are. Pro tip: Grade the team member skill level - Beginner, Competent, Proficient, Expert. Assess both skill and will.

2. How do members on the team interact amongst themselves? Check for information flow, conflict resolution approaches and shared commitments. Pro tip: Create guiding principles for decision making and prioritizations.

3. What actionable and timely feedback mechanisms are in place to help people and the team uncover blindspots and reinforce positive behaviors? Pro tip: Lean more on informal lunch and learn as opposed to After Action Review and Postmortems. Just those words creates defensiveness.

4. How is the team empowered to make decisions (without having to go up and down a chain of command) that accelerate the initiative? Pro tip: Implement OKRs and guiding principles

5. What support including access to external experts and internal workshopping is in place to help the team learn and grow? Pro tip: Create a expert network that can be tapped into easily

By integrating these valuable lessons from the world of sports into organizational design and execution, we not only raise the performance bar but also create a culture of excellence that inspires every employee to achieve his/her full potential (Hitting The Purple Patch). The path to success then is not just a possibility but an inevitable destination.

Three common startup missteps and how to sidestep them

The entrepreneurial journey is exciting and excruciating on the same breathe. While the personal and financial rewards from building a successful startup from the ground up is one of the biggest highs, the path to success is riddled with challenges that one must navigate deftly.

90% of startups fail. While 10% of startups fail in year 1, a jaw dropping 70% fail between years 2 and 5. 80% of startups fail from 3 missteps. On the entrepreneurship rollercoaster, avoiding these 3 missteps can be the difference between soaring success and devastating disappointment.

1. Limited market need

2. Poor financial management

3. Ineffective leadership and team

Limited market need: Building a product or service that doesn't meet a burning customer need is a significant reason for failure. To avoid this misstep and increase the odds of success answer three pivotal questions. How important and pressing is the customer's need? How frequent is the need? How willing is the customer to pay when the need is met?

Pro tip: Fall in love with the customer problem and not with your product or service.

Poor financial management: Running out of money including inability to raise additional funding because of inadequate market traction with the product or service is another key reason for failure. To avert falling into this chasm, hyper prioritize initiatives that provide compelling proof points to showcase progression on product-market fit, and attractiveness of business model.

Pro tip: Operate with quarterly OKRs (Objectives and Key Results) tied to building a compelling narrative for customers and investors. Think video games, the goal is to get to next level to power up and unlock new powers to help succeed in the subsequent levels.

Ineffective leadership and team: Weak leadership, lack of relevant skills and poor team dynamics negatively affect cash burn (inefficient return of precious capital) and ability to efficiently garner market traction. To prevent these from being an Achilles heel, leaders should be laser focused on setting priorities (OKRs), identifying skills needed to achieve OKRs, and creating an environment that encourages speed of organizational learning and coordinated execution.

Pro tip: Leverage experienced executives in fractional capacity, and advisors with relevant skills and network needed to achieve OKRs

Consciously and proactively addressing the above three issues significantly increases the odds of success. Remind yourself that every setback is an opportunity to learn, and refine your approach to value creation and acceleration. With this learning orientation combined with persistence, you are not just averting missteps but shaping a path to a future where your startup not only survives but also thrives.